JAPANESE ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Arranged marriages in Japan are called Miai. It is estimated that between 10-30% of marriages in Japan are arranged. The participants of Miai are those who are to potentially be married. The candidates and their families are judged on a large set of criteria to determine the balance between the marriage. This includes level of education, income, occupation, physical attractiveness, religion, social standing, and hobbies. The participant’s bloodline is also very important because they are afraid the blood would be infected. Ideally, the couple should be from an equal social status.

Nakōdo

A Nakōdo role is to go between families in the miai process. There purpose is to introduce people entering a new arrangement and assist shy candidates. They must introduce potential candidates and families to each other. Then they provide liaison for the two families. This role helps to avoid differences in opinions between the families by serving as an intermediary for working out the details of the marriage. In return they are giving a percentage (10%) of the money the broom gives to the bride.

Selection process

The initiative for the miai process often comes from the parents, who feel that their son or daughter is in a marriageable age, usually between 22 and 30. Parents would interpose the phrase “onegai shimasu” which means “I make the request” into conversations. With this, people are aware that they consented that their daughter may meet a man. The daughter may not be aware that his parents are suggesting her availability. After this, the Nakodo would have photographs of the candidate and a “rirekisho”, a small personal history. The rirekisho commonly includes the name, age, health, education, occupation and marital status of all members of the candidate’s family. The families would sit down with the Nakodo and look at the portfolios to eliminate inappropriate candidates. The daughter and the mother would make a list of the primary choices and ask the Nakodo to investigate the first choice.